You can get pretty good results by saying, “Well {verb} my {noun}!” It always ends up sounding quaint. It’s like the mad libs of incredulity
- Well kiss my grits!
- Well steam my hogs!
- Well string my banjo!
- Well iron my shirts!
- Well paint my deck!
- Well trash my patio!
- Well crash my harddrive!
- Well tear my pants!
You get this for “well trash my patio”.
When my late husband said, “why you syphilitic son of a bitch” I knew that he was really angry at someone and if he said “rats in a dishpan” then something just went haywire. He passed away 30 years ago now and I have never heard another person say those things.
…I have never heard another person say those things.
Haha, I can totally relate to someone making up expressions, then sticking with them. For example, a couple I made up for whatever reason, and still employ with a frequency:
- Oh, rabbits! (expression of surprise, sometimes used as a mild curse)
- Well, shut my mouth and spank my bottom! (surprised, Southern-style)
- Smooch my ruby, red rump! (tauntingly, Bender of Futurama-style)
.
EDIT: Oh, and my grandpère used to loudly exclaim “Fiddlesticks!” when he was obviously angry or deeply annoyed. I’ve never heard that term used ever across old literature, films, etc.
EDIT2: Back when the TV series Deadwood was running, I remember someone online asking ‘why are they swearing using completely modern terms?’ and someone else answering ‘because if the show used authentic curse words, the characters would all sound like variants of Yosemite Sam.’
I dunno, speaking as a Naked Gun / Zucker fan, I think I might have enjoyed that! :P
Not an insult really, but always like the saying
“it’s louder than 2 skeletons fucking on a tin roof”
Points if it comes from unexpected sources.
Accusing someone of having too much semen.
It was a thing.
John Adams accused Alexander Hamilton of having such an excess of semen that all the brothels in the city couldn’t help him.
You got too many swimmers bro, I can’t even
It was an insult, too. Different times.
