that tweet reply is just 👄🤌
Mayon-egg
I mean to be clear I’m from altoona and I’ve never seen pizza like this.
Would you like a stroke?
Say what?
Would you like a pizza with a side of stroke hun?
Nah, but can I get it will a double pounder heart attack? And a side of diarrhea? I’m trying to keep my height to weight ratio.
Every person I’ve shared Altoona pizza with ironically has ended up unironically liking it, so I don’t know anymore. I’ve never actually had it myself. Maybe this isn’t any worse than Hawaiian pizza or cauliflower crust pizza?
At the end of the day though, this is just a regional food - like Cincinnati chili or Chicago hot dog - only after all the good ideas are taken, this was what was left. If they can sell one to everybody passing through Altoona just once, they’ve made a fair amount of money.
Cincinnati chili is beloved by Cincinnati, though…
I’m Austrian and I feel betrayed
I’m italian, my day is ruined.
Honestly this doesn’t sound like it would taste all that bad. Thick crust, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, fried salami, and Velveeta cheese? That’s gonna be pretty tasty. Calling it pizza might be the biggest issue, maybe something like open faced pepper sandwich would be better.
Stop
I mean, you just described a thick crust hot pocket. Which isn’t bad. It ain’t good, but it ain’t bad.
Pretty much, any combination of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce is edible. The salami is just there for texture
I bet you also think health insurance CEOs are hard working, upstanding members of the community.
Calling Velveeta “cheese” is pretty bad
Urgh, here in Canada they tried to trick us with “delux” kraft dinner. Velveeta is so bad that I avoid name brand KD to this day due to one time over a decade ago. How in the artificial fuck do americans eat that stuff?
Maybe ive got California bias, but pretty sure we also avoid it. That shit is basically waste that is sold to folks who literally cant afford better.
Lol I can’t believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
Fixed that for Wikipedia:
Fun fact, you can trigger Wikipedia editors by changing the page in developer console and posting a screenshot of it, they’ll scramble to revert a change that doesn’t exist.
Or just edit as usual, then click on preview and screenshot that. Also works on mobile!
While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.
Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.
Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza
It could have died there, but they had to do this
Lol, I do eat this type of cheese with grilled cheese… But this application is disgusting.
That passage explains the what , but nothing can explain the why.
Mozzarella is nice though, just that it’s mentioned makes me feel a bit better. As if the world isn’t broken completely.
I do find it comical that Americans call processed cheese “American”
It’s telling for sure.
This made me discover Velveeta. I wish I hadn’t.
Do not make the fudge recipe. Trust me.
I am sorry? There’s a Velveeta fudge recipe!
Just the thought it is alone 🤮
The most successful businesses in Altoona when I lived there in the early 2010s were drug rehabilitation centers. All the factories closed, and the town is slowly dying.
Yeah, it’s not a great town
Heart disease
I don’t think it’s any less healthy than ordinary pizza. Just tastes like trash.
Cheddar has more calories and fat than mozzarella. It’s also more processed and has more additives.
That doesn’t look like any cheddar I’ve ever seen
“american” cheese is called cheddar in pretty much everywhere I’ve been around the globe.
There must not be much overlap in the countries we’ve visited then, because I’ve never seen this personally; one of the things I was glad for when I returned to the UK after while backpacking through Europe was being able to buy cheddar cheese in supermarkets again — it was non-existent in all the European shops I’d visited, and we usually settled for Edam or Gouda
Edit: I reread my comment and I realised it sounded super passive aggressive and that wasn’t at all my intention. My sample size of European countries is 5, which is far from representative for Europe, let alone the world
That ain’t cheddar. It’s American.
As I already said, “american” cheese is called cheddar pretty much everywhere.
American cheese on pizza? that’s the kind of thing I would do if I’m down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it
cook with it? yeah
call it pizza? nopeThat’s the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can’t go out to get anything else. And you’d keep that shit quiet and never admit to it to anyone.
Like Kenji’s smash burgers, “held together with hope and American Cheese”
Is this town filled with broke stoners or something?
Dunno about this particular area of PA, but the areas I am familiar with… the answer is meth.
Broke stoners in rural Pennsylvania? Say it ain’t so!
This is not pizza.
there’s no excuse for making a bad pizza. It’s pizza, it’s very hard to do it wrong
Yeah like, just don’t call it a pizza and we’re good. Call it an “Altooner” or whatever, but don’t soil the good reputation of pizza with whatever this creation is.
Altoona melt
Misc toppings on bread dough with some kind of cheese is probably thousands of years old.
If memory serves right a round bread with toppings is semi important in the Aeneid. Which assuming it isnt based off of older traditions means its at least 2000 years old, though I dont know if Virgil was pulling from older shit so I cant say for certain. Also I dont know if cheese was in Italy by that point.
The only people who say this are people who have never had good pizza before.
The “iT’s PiZzA, sO iT’s GoOd” crowd drive me nuts. You would probably put ketchup and Velveeta on a Ritz cracker and call it a pizza. Have some standards, my dude.
Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.
