When I was about 4, I was jumping on the sofa, back and forth from one arm to the other (because the middle was lava, obviously)

Misjudged it and ended up going headfirst off the end into a china cabinet next to it, glass doors and all - I ended up missing the first month of school, 32 stitches and basically half a Glasgow smile to show for it, I’m told it looks very cool

NGL I kinda forgot about rugby, fair point

Europeans: call a game where you kick ball with foot “football”

Americans: call a game where you throw ball with hands “football”

One of these makes more sense to me… :p