linux build where?

https://www.interpals.net/

Dependent on your member state, look for websites such as this one: https://www.opferschutzportal.nrw/beratungsstellen

Do you have anything that you love to do, i.e. a hobby or something that you want to do? I would try to use your energy to focus on that, which can serve as a good distraction from the other problems in life, and, with some income, can help you become independent.