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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I have four passwords I memorize: my password manager, my main email, my work login, and a throw away password for stuff that doesn’t matter too much (signing up for giveaways, throw away social media accounts, etc). For everything else I have the password manager create some twenty character monstrosity.

    The four memorized ones are all nine letter words with numbers and symbols replacing letters usually always including a comma somewhere as I heard once that a comma makes a password hardet to crack (but, now thinking about it, I don’t know where I heard that and it sounds like a myth).





  • For a while I worked at a theme park in central Florida. Yeah, it’s that one. Some of the guests went wild.

    One time I was walking through a guest area on my way to the break room when a dude pushing a stroller ran into me without looking. Apologies on both sides and then the dude tried to hand me something. I put my hands behind my back as a kind of “no thanks,” we’re not really supposed to take things from guests. I looked down and it was a used diaper. He thought he could just hand a park employee his child’s shit filled Pampers and that we’d take care of it. There was a trash can literally right behind him, but thinking on it later where did he change the diaper? There’s trash cans in the bathrooms and they all have changing stations… did he just change the kid outside? Is that a thing parents do?

    Another time I was helping the transportation department during a park closure. Up on the monorail platform I was shoulder to shoulder with like a thousand people. A train arrives, the doors and gates open, and people start boarding. A woman who’d been standing near me stopped at the doors, turned to face me, poked her finger into my chest and shouted “YOU RUINED OUR VACATION!” She stared daggers into my soul as she walked backwards like a Bond villain into the car and continued staring me down as the doors closed and the train left the station. I have no clue who this was or what I had done.

    Finally, I had to break up a fight where grown ass adults were yelling at each other and had started spitting on each other’s children (like WTF). No idea who started it or even if the two groups knew each other, but shit was looking to come to blows and the security people weren’t quite there yet. Another park employee and I stepped up between them with a “come on folks” and “this is a place for families.” Both of us were big guys so we made a wall between them, I’m 6’2 and was about 280lbs at the time (128cm [typo edit: 182 lol] and almost 130 kgs [edit for my fellow Americans: that’s about one refrigerator in height and around weight of a Shetland pony]). Saw the parents faces drop from anger to embarrassment immediately realizing how dumb they were being when security jogged up and a manager on a Segway rolled in.

    The most magical place in central Florida really brings out the strange in some folks.




  • Take your pick.

    • The brother who was fired from his job as a prison guard for being too racist. He’s told me on more than one occasion that he’s smarter than any black person he’s ever met… he’s dropped out of college multiple times and now works for a convenience store along with “being his own boss” for MLM, selling shit door-to-door (yes, he will be trying to sell stuff at holiday gatherings).
    • The aunt who’s sure that Obama was, in fact, the antichrist mentioned in the Book of Revelations. She believes that queer people are all pedophiles who can convert children and others to “their ways.” Oddly though… not a Trump supporter, because DJT “let that beautiful daughter of his marry a Jew.”
    • The cousin who is a flat earther and won’t shut up about how the Jews run everything with their power tied (somehow) directly to convincing everyone that the planet isn’t flat. His wife tried to get him to cut ties with the family because we don’t go to their church which is all of about 100 people and based out of a partially abandoned strip mall.

    They’ve all been ostracized by family in the past, but keep getting invited to stuff.