A college friend is being serial stalked and harassed, for several years now by an ex-roommate, and she is unable to get help. Yesterday after discovering a slew of hateful and threatening emails in her Spam dir, she called 911 (on my advice). They said they would be sending out officers and they never did.
This is obviously an abbreviated account, but this has been going on for years now, and since the presidential election this stalker as ratcheted up the harassment and the rhetoric.
She does not have many finacial means, is naturally timid, and has 4 adult children who are out of the house, but this criminal knows who they are and she fears direct action against this man.
I advised her to call 911, document EVERYTHING, and when it happens again, file another police report and keep doing so. In the past she tried to file on this man, and all they did was chase down an old address and then interviewed his sister, then squat. I also advised her to find a local advocacy/support group to speak with and get some support from.
This abuse takes place over email, text, and 1st person ( flattened tires, jammed keyways, etc etc). The abuser is a card carrying / tattooed Nazi, whom I suspect is on boards and forums learning how to cover his tracks, obfuscate sources etc.
What the fuck can ne done about this? I am not in tbe same region as she is BTW.
Thank you, seriously, deeply Thank You.
Columbus, Ohio, US
UPDATE: 15:03 EST: I have finally gotten through the broken Columbus, Ohio prosecutor’s office phone tree to an advocate for the local DV/Stalking Unit and they are now speaking together.
Ohio has castle doctrine. Buy her a shotgun, teach her to use it. Set up motion detectors surrounding her vehicle parked on her property.
Shoot that motherfucker.
Go to the police station to make a report. Bring the emails/evidence with. Then get a temporary restraining order.
I had to go to the police station to be taken seriously even have multiple calls and officers seeing the harassment first hand. Be careful, my harasser knew exactly how to push the line and it took a death threat on camera before anything was done
Did you use a hidden camera?
No we got into the habit of turning on video recording whenever we saw them. It’s my understanding that they thought I was just waving my phone around.
What does dwf mean?
Divorced white female. Also short for dwarf if playing RPGs.
So she is a lvl 45 dwarf?
In which case the appropriate advice is dust off the +5 battleaxe and get out of retirement, girl!
But no, seriously, she should get some mace. And probably let her kids know what’s happening as well as file for a restraining order. Violence like this unchecked escalates.
she should get some mace
Like a +5 battle mace?
+5 clones of the rapper Ma$e
Police are useless and will take the side of the abuser, but she needs a police report to get a restraining order
She can take self-defense classes, carry mace. Set up a camera to get evidence of him damaging her property. Hire a Private Investigator to find out who he is and where he is, where he works, and gather evidence, so the police have something to act on.
If it’s hate crime related, contact the FBI. This page has the contact information.
https://www.fbi.gov/news/press-releases/the-fbi-encourages-the-public-to-report-hate-crimes
Also if it happens to go interstate, or you get evidence of more than one person involved, go to the FBI.
I would think email or sms would qualify as a federal crime.
FBI tip line immediately, just because he’s a NAZI.
She should document absolutely everything and then seek a protective order in whatever jurisdiction she’s in. She should also really consider setting up a camera to record any areas she’s concerned he will visit or vandalize again. Video evidence will be actionable where harassment through email/text frequently is not actionable. She could maybe reach out to a domestic violence shelter in her area for advice too, as they should be experts on this type of situation
A support group of other women who’ve been stalking victims could help.
Either call 211 or go to 211.com and they will help you, they connect you with every community resource for your county, and if you tell them what happened they can help with you even finding a new place and maybe even help get a lawyer. Temporary housing for animals, helping with apartment, help with living expenses, all sorts of stuff
Thank you, I had no idea this existed.
She might want to invest in a personal body cam. It’s something I’ve thought about, being a transgender person. If anything happens, it’s all recorded and very damning evidence.
As always, when things like this are mentioned, be sure to check your state and local laws for one or two party consent rules.
Serious answer: if you suspect which boards this person is a part of to learn this stuff, join the same boards to learn their tricks.
Also get a gun. That’s a no-brainer in this kind of situation.
And talk to a lawyer. Even just a free consultation can provide very useful info. Even if it’s not legal advice, lawyers tend to be close to lots of drama and have good collections of skills and tips to share for dealing with problematic people.
Also get a gun. That’s a no-brainer in this kind of situation.
I’m pretty pro-gun and absolutely in favor of armed self defense. This is not good advice.
We don’t know enough about this person’s temperament to say whether she would be psychologically able to shoot someone. OP’s description suggests she might not. Sometimes people unsuccessfully try to use guns for intimidation and end up disarmed by their assailant. There’s also the matter of proficiency; we can’t assume she knows how to use a gun safely and effectively. The costs of instruction and practice ammunition add up, on top of the cost of a firearm.
Some people in this situation should get a gun, and it’s something I would encourage OP’s friend to think about, but it absolutely isn’t a no-brainer.
If one is incapable of harming an aggressor, they need to fix that as soon as possible.
I used to have that problem and I got fixed of it by letting an aggressor hurt me (I got extremely lucky to be saved from that aggressor by some other strangers who happened to be there; else I would have been fucked) at which point a deep part of me reorganized my priorities.
A person who’s incapable of defending herself needs to take immediate steps to fix that. To me it’s a no-brainer to start down that path immediately, when there’s some psycho entering her physical space repeatedly.
Get a gun, get training, etc. Get the ability to defend oneself, if it’s absent. This means psychology too.
I should have said get a gun and the will to use it. The only reason not to have that will is naïveté, and hers is eroding.
Why da faq is she calling 911
That’s not how this is handled, shiti advice makes her look like the issue here.
Document and go tot he police to discuss your options like an adult.
Calling 911 is in fact the start of documentation. Thanks.
I think the grandparent comment’s poorly articulated point is that 911 is for emergencies involving an immediate risk of death. It’s better to call the non-emergency number for the local police department to report crimes that have already occurred because the phone system will prioritize the calls differently.
You can make police reports without having to use 911
911 calls are recorded. If the police are refusing to help, at least there is that as a record.
you are missing the point 1) what 911 is for; 2) police are not obligated to respond to these calls; 3) record of what, somebody using improper channel to report a crime?
i don’t think you understand what 911 is for.
you are just wasting resource needed by people in actual imminent threat, get a glue karen
and blocked. Have a lovely holiday season.
🤡
